You are the man you said you aren't

I am sure ladies you have heard a man tell you "I am not like other men out there," or "I am different from other guys." You believe them at first and they prove themselves to their words. All of a sudden those words are lies. Eventually he becomes like ever other guy out there. It is rare to find a good man nowadays. Most of the men out there are assholes, jerks, and users. I have herd this a few times and I am only 20 years old. The last guy I was talking to told me that he was different from other guys out there. At first he was. He took me home and everything via public transport, but that glam did not last very long. He soon became like every other man out there. He isn't the man he said he wasn't. He now ignores my calls, my text messages, and my emails. I try to contact him and he doesn't answer me. How can you tell me you aren't that type of man when clearly you are. You picked your ex-girlfriend over me. Every time I say it you get upset. Is it because you realize you made a mistake? Is it because you realize you are going to enter a life of misery? You are going to be forced into marriage and children at an earlier age just because you wanted to finish of things with her. To be honest she doesn't deserve you. She cheated on YOU. She doesn't get along with your family. Yes you guys went through a lot, but you don't need that stress. Decisions were made and that is okay. It just shows you don't deserve ME. You are the very man you said you were not. Stupid inconsiderate jerk. I would like to be friends with you, but do me a favor..... grow up and face your problems. Thank You. All will be forgiven, but how can I forgive if you and I cannot even talk because you don't even answer me? I just don't understand people. I really don't.

What Really Grinds My Gears

This is why I am done with men until the day I day. I am done, done, done, done. I am pissed to the point my teeth are clenched that they hurt. How are you going to sit there and joke about how I have you emotionally and sexually when YOU picked YOUR ex over ME? Like really? You were all talking about how I made you happy and how beautiful and intelligent but yet you pick the bitch that cheated on you, the one who the family dislikes, and caused you so much issues? You made a joke and you clearly think I am going to be okay with it? Like wtf? As much you seem as the guy in my dreams there are so many wishes that want you back in my dreams and never escape them again. You have caused me such an emotional roller-coaster these past few weeks of the new year and I am clearly tired of you and you sweet bullshit ways. Like what the fuck? Why would you pick her over me? What is it? I am not as pretty as her, I am not as thick as her, I don't have a big ass or tits? I wanted to actually have a valentine this year because I haven't had one since I was about 16, but OH NO that dream is shot to fuckin hell because of you. I picked your ass over my bestie, and because I did I probably do not have a bestie anymore. Now he is mad at me because I showed him something his ex showed him. So that day I guess I will be doing school work. I hate you so much right and I hope you go to hell at least my hell so you know how I struggle with my damn life every damn day since 2009 rolled around. I am so sick of everything. Just everything. I regret picking you now cause you just made my life even more than a living hell than what it is already. So I just want to say THANK A FUCKING A LOT. I knew I shouldn't have had you entertain my thoughts, and that is what really grinds my gears.

"You're good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you"

You are to good to be true as I laid in your arms watching the "Friday" series in your room. I had deemed 2010 to be my year. I finally thought I would get my break, and for once I can get what I want. I had planned previously I wasn't going to open my heart back up to the possibility of love or even getting to know a guy. At first I was nervous and every emotion came to me. I missed my ex, I wanted to try things with my bestie, I was scared, this was way to good to be true. I have realized that the emotions for my ex will probably be there for the rest of my life. I don't think I would ever get over my ex, but I can push him aside and just live my life. The next thing was to tackle my best friend issue. I spoke to him, and he told to go ahead to grab it because this was a good catch and you can't let it go. Did all of that, but of course story of my life he ended telling me about the ex girlfriend and ended up going back to her. I do not understand at all you tell I am perfect, you tell the family about me, you say I make you happy, you say I know you will be there, she cheated on you so she messed up not you, and all these things but then go back to her anyways? Like I understand you guys have been through a lot of stuff so you are more inclined to fix it, but I am sorry you cannot fix what is broken sometimes. It just doesn't work the same. You are definitely way to be good to be true for me at least because the guys I usually get are the assholes. Honestly you are starting to fit that category now too.

Sob Story

2010 for me already seems like a continuation from last year. One big sob party. Its like nowadays I find something that bothers me and I end up sobbing for at least a hour. Yesterday I was sobbing for hours upon end because a guy, yes a guy, who I thought was perfect told me there is someone else. No we weren't dating and no I wasn't looking for a guy to have a relationship with but he just fell into my lap. He seemed so promising and perfect. Perfect for me anyways. After meeting up with my guy bestie and spent an hour talking about what I should do I made up my mind and took his advice to take a chance on him because he just seemed to good to let go. Well my thoughts were right... it was too good to be true. He tells me that his ex was still in the picture and she has been asking him to try again so now he is stuck in between us. I held up for an hour and I just lost it. Everything I could have cried about I cried about. I cried about that situation, my ex, my guy bestie, you named it I mentioned it while I was sobbing. Now today I was supposed to meet with him after hanging with my hs crew and before I met up with my friends from school and he texts me saying he is sorry, but he has to see his ex but don't be disappointed. I am not supposed to be mad? Like what the hell you blew me off for someone who obviously doesn't deserve you because SHE messed up and not you. Whatever you are just as stupid as all the other guys out there. Go ahead and get back with her. You won't be happy and you will be dragged into having a family before you actually want one. Men are so stupid. I hope last night was the end of my sobbing cause I am quite tired of it and my eyes are too.