10 Days

1o days till I see him... nope Seven Days by Sting will not work lol... I'll be counting down the days. I miss him already. I hear a plane heading out. Maybe it's him. I hope he makes it to Ireland okay.<3

The Photo Entries

This is the first of I hope many of my photo entries. It is best if you start from the bottom and work your way up.

Last but not least.. Clouds... 2007
My Staten Island Babies Seth Dom and Peter
The Unknown girls, Me Nessa, and Steph
My little cousins are simply too cute.. Happy Birthday Ariel
My boy cousins... all grown up
One of my fav photos of Christmas 2007 my cousins Imani, Elisa, and Ariel
My Aunt Annie and her dog Max. I luv this pic of them. This one I didn't take, but still gets added
A picture I really like. This may get printed and framed besides the circumstances.
Chrissy what she does best.. Steals my camera and takes a photo of herself... I bet she will be happy she made my photo entry lol
I like this picc my crazy but sweet friend Leslie
A fav past time of mine... Me being vain in a mirror and a camera
A nature shot.. Snowww 2008
You can't stop the beat... Dancing from the age of 6
My chorus girls... 2008
Her and I before things fell apart.. Thank You literature for that title
My first musical.. Godspell.. 11.07
One thing in common.. the birth month of MAY... Charlie, Chrissy, Me and Erin
The boy who makes my heart jump... the boyfriend Robbie
Me at age 6 graduating kindergarten. 1st grade here I come!
Me and the other bestie Tony at Sea Bright Beach
The best friend since the Loughlin Days.. Stephanie
My godsister. Yep she is part of my portfolio :) Well the one I am trying to make

Around The same date last year.. 6.16.08 Funny how a year changes everything

Self Portrait June 16, 2009

Back to Square One.. Oh Boy

I am so now convinced I need therapy. How the hell I was doing so awesome, and feeling high as a kite then all of a sudden I am back to being sad and wanting to cry at any minute. I swear I am bipolar. This has taught me that I am way to clingy. Like seriously wtf? What have I ever done to deserve it. As like one of my friends said its like a bad break up. A bad break up indeed, and it wasnt even with my bf! I know there are some situations I could have handled much better, but I was pissed what was I to do. I was not thinking straight. Whatevs I am not perfect so I shouldn't beat myself up for things I have done. I think I need a puppy cause puppies never break your heart. Its like now I have constant reminders. The music we sung to... The 1000 pics I have... they facebooks stuff.. It never goes away. It would take me weeks to erase all of these memories. I am still comtemplating if I should buy a birthday gift considering she NEVER bought me one. I don't think I should cause it would be casted one side cause she has no time for any of her friends. Her man is her life now. The girl who said " A man doesn't define me!" has definitely gone back on her word. It crushes me that I am the reason this ALL happened. I live with the guilt whenever I think about it. If I hadn't done what I have done then who knows what would have happened. I probably would have still had her as bestie. Yes I still have my two besties Steph and Tony who have been awesome and we all are going through different situations which contains this word named hurt. Hurt is a such a word. It just defines the pain your soul and mind goes through every now again. A person can hurt for a day, a week, a month, a year. It comes it different forms, but they all suck. It sucks through. She is hurting cause the guy is being a moron and he is hurting cause he still misses his ex which he believes was his no. 1 girl. They both said to me that you should fuk it and leave well alone, but there is something that keeps me where I am. I wish I knew. It just suxx that I did this. Well she is also to blame, but I blame myself everyday. If I can say a few words it would be I am ever so sorry.. please forgive me.. i miss you way too much.. and probably just end up balling...

Good Songgg

Barely Breathing by Duncan Shiek
I know what you�re doing,
I see it all to clear
I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears
You really had me going, wishing on a star
But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far
I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn
Well it must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born
There�s not much to examine, there�s nothing left to hide
You really can�t be serious if you have to ask me why

I say good-bye...

�Cause I am barely breathing
And I can�t find the air
I don�t know who I�m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don�t suppose it�s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay

Everyone keeps asking, what�s it all about?
I used to be so certain and I can�t figure out
What is this attraction? I only feel the pain
There�s nothing left to reason and only you to blame Will it ever change?


�Cause I am barely breathing
And I can�t find the air
I don�t know who I�m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don�t suppose it�s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
But I�m thinking it over anyway...


I�ve come to find
I may never know
Your changing mind
Is it friend or foe?

I rise above
Or sink below
With every time
You come and go
Please don�t come and go

�Cause I am barely breathing
And I can�t find the air
I don�t know who I�m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don�t suppose it�s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
But I�m thinking it over anyway thing by Duncan Shiek

RIP Michael Jackson 1958-2009/ Farrah Fawcett 1947-2009

RIP KING OF POP
RIP FARRAH
YOU GUYS SHALL BE MISSED

The Story of the Unhappy Girl

Alyssa was the girl's name. She had everything a girl can want- best friends who love her dearly, a wonderful boyfriend whom she adored, opportunity to attend universitity, a supportive and loving family. Yet Alyssa was still unhappy. Alyssa said she was happy to everyone, but deep inside she felt there was a hole within her heart. A hole she couldn't figure out why it existed. She searched high and low for her 100% happiness with no luck. Alyssa, or Lyssie Poo called by family and friends, decided that she would take pictures to help document her life. Alyssa would go all over New York just take shots such as the shot on the right to help herself become happy, but Lyssie Poo still was not happy. See she suffered a lost. She lost a real close friend due to differences, and it hurt her heart deeply. Alyssa never got over the pain. Her best friends would tell her that to get over it and that person isn't important. Just move on. Alyssa couldn't do it. Easier said than done she thought. So Lyssie Poo pushed on with the photography because it was theraputic for her. She also danced and listened to music until one day she noticed something. The lightbulb finally clicked on in her brain. Why should she be unhappy? She has everything she ever needed and wanted all along. She has her crazy and loving two best friends, an awesome group of friends, an amazing boyfriend, and of course family. Alyssa wasn't unhappy any longer and decided to embrace life the way it was given to her. The unhappy girl turned into the joyous young woman, and led a great life. One thing she did learn was if people really care for you as they say they do the will show it. The people that don't or don't show it well are phony and shouldn't be trusted.

Letter Writting... May be sent to recpipient

This is a letter. I may send or I may not send it out. Post comments and tell me if its good or not. I need opinions
I may not have anger issues, or may not need anger management. I fight for what right and what I think is best. You may not agree with it, but everyone knows its best. You may not think its right, but you are controlling your destiny. Being a wholesome person isn't easy, but I try. I went above and beyond to be the best and perfect friend I can be. I feel like that has been shot to hell. I don't understand because my other best friends say I am such a terrific person and others can't see that. All they see is the violent outbursts and the yelling I have done. I am tired of pretending that I am such a perfect person when I know fully I am not. No one is. Why should I be the scapegoat when everyone has faults. I tried protecting you from all of this, but of course being hard headed didn't help. I have spent countless nights trying to figure out is this karma trying to bite me in the ass for all the wrongs that I have done in my life? Where did I go wrong like honestly? Tell me what I did wrong? I sit here thinking maybe I need psychiatric help because I do indeed have issues such as anger. Last week I proved to myself that I do not need it. I controlled my anger, and I didn't have any outbursts. I know yay me! All what has happened shouldn't have happened, but it did. People say things happens for a reason. That God has a plan for everyone. I think sometimes this happened because He was trying to show me that I shouldn't bend over backwards for certain people because they don't really truly appreciate it. They say they do but do they really? Or maybe this was Him trying to tell me you can't fix everything that needs to be fixed. Or maybe that I truly have problems. I really don't know. Well whatever it is I hope you see that I have calmed down, and I am ready to talk. Not contacting helps either but its whatever. Hope life is great for you cause I know mine is for the most part.