I need to sleep.. BUT...

Happy New Years Folks!

I intend to make 2011 my year. I know that 2011 will have its share of pitfalls, but I know I can conquer what is need to conquer once I put my faith in it and good hard work. Currently working on this winter course to make sure my GPA gets up to a 2.7 so I do not have anything to worry about. They already started calling my house... yes woman.. I know I have to discuss about my GPA... its a 2.68. Not a 2.7, but clearly very very close. She cannot exactly be upset... I went from a 2.1 to a 2.68 in basically 3 years. That was extremely tough. I have good faith that I will be okay, but you know how nerves work. Other than that I was looking into grad school and a possible volunteer stint with the Lasallian Volunteers. We will see what happens.

One more semester of College... Yayy?

On Tuesday I finished my 7th semester of college. I am pleased with my grades, but I am still stressing. I need a 2.7 to student teach and because of my rocky first year I am basically a hundredth away. It okay though. I know within my bones and with God's will I will student teach in February. I am very proud of myself that I did come this far. There are still so many people my age who have not even step foot in college. Here I am 21 years old, about to get a degree. I am not strung out on drugs or have a drinking problem. I do not have a child out of wedlock. I can say I did well. The adventure of life after college is still a mystery. I know the basics. Apply to grad school, and also the DOE to get a teaching job in the NYC Public Schools. It is crazy how 10 years ago I used to say I would go to college and now I am almost done. Life happens when you are having fun!

Holdin You Down (Goin in Circles)/Changes

Why is it me and this guy always get at odds at around the same time each year. I have been searching emails, since I do not have my laptop at the moment, and from 2008 we always had an issue around this time of year. I do not get it. It seems like it would never fail. We both have grown from those cute 15 year olds- we are both 21. From past messages I found how both romanticized about having a relationship. We finally had one and it ended terribly because my high levels of stress. I admit it this time it was my fault. He always finds a way to push me away. Always. I always find a way to forgive him. Always. So tell me this.. why is it we always have a rock relationship nowadays? We are always off and on. There can be months we talk to each other and months when we don't speak a word to each other. Yet beyond all the bickering and all that nonsense we love each other. I cry every time I miss him. I guess its my way of coping from my mistake. I love him with all my heart. Yes you may say I am 21 and I am too young to know how that feels, but I think my tears are enough. I know in my heart we will make up back again, but until then I am left to sweep up the pieces...  once again

Too much red meat... bad for you?

I have noticed right before I start menstruation these past few months I have had the craving for burgers. The last time I had a physical done I did have blood work done and it showed that I am not anemic. I did learn that when a person has such a craving for meat like I do it is because the body is probably low on iron. I did try iron pills, but nothing is as good a juicy burger.. well done of course. There are the studies that say that too much red meat is not good for you. Well too much of anything is not good for you. My thing is if I only have these indulgence once every month is it still bad for me?

Little Patty Cakes is growing up *part 1*

Here is my last summer of undergrad. I cannot believe it. I remembered talking about college when I was younger, and now I am almost finished. This year is gonna be crazy and I already feel it. Its only August! I always knew I would make it this far in life, but I cannot believe that it happened so quick. I am truly excited to finally get my degree, but at the same time I am not ready for the "grown up" things.

What I have been told

I have been told many a things.  I have been told that I look like I am ready to commit suicide with the style of some of my blogs and my tweets. What people don't realize I hold a lot of my true emotions in. They come out on my twitter or my blogspot because they are venting space. Now what do you rather? Me jumping off a bridge, or me sounding type emo online.? I know I am a dramatist and I make things worst than what it is, but its just how I am. Now if you have a problem with it then unfollow me or don't read my blogs.

Men. The anguish they give me.

People who are close to me know that I am always complaining or whining about men all the time. Everyone has their opinions about men. What is my opinion you may ask? All men are the same. They all think the same, and act the same. They are selfish and only thinks about themselves. I know that they all aren't the same, but the men I have been dealing with have fed into my opinion. Many have said to me to change the type of men that I look into. I have tried. Trust me I have, but somehow I always end up in the same trap. My resentment for men has gotten so bad nowadays that last week I continually cursed all my male friends, and took a trip up to Westchester where I walked through a couple towns via the Bronx. My best friend thinks I have a build up of resentment because I am not fully over my ex. I still to this day wear the chain he got me from Ireland one year ago this summer. My soror sister told me to get rid of it when we were hanging out Saturday, but I cannot part with the chain yet. The only time I take it off is if I am going some where fancy, or I am going to the hairdresser. Everyone who knows me or have seen me in pictures knows how the chain looks like. My ex fed into my opinion this weekend. He drunks texts me saying how he misses me, and the next day when I offered to hang out he refuses to hang out with me thinking it is best. My sis thinks he upset at himself for breaking up with me, but honestly he could have stayed with me because I remember begging to work it out with him. At my young age of 21 I am constantly either either very ecstatic when it comes to men or depressed to the point I just wanna walk very far as far as I can. I know I am young and I have virtually a lot of my life left in front of me, but I seriously feel pressured by my family. Right now as much as I envision myself in a wedding dress and the whole nine yards I feel honestly that isn't going happen.