Back to Square One.. Oh Boy

I am so now convinced I need therapy. How the hell I was doing so awesome, and feeling high as a kite then all of a sudden I am back to being sad and wanting to cry at any minute. I swear I am bipolar. This has taught me that I am way to clingy. Like seriously wtf? What have I ever done to deserve it. As like one of my friends said its like a bad break up. A bad break up indeed, and it wasnt even with my bf! I know there are some situations I could have handled much better, but I was pissed what was I to do. I was not thinking straight. Whatevs I am not perfect so I shouldn't beat myself up for things I have done. I think I need a puppy cause puppies never break your heart. Its like now I have constant reminders. The music we sung to... The 1000 pics I have... they facebooks stuff.. It never goes away. It would take me weeks to erase all of these memories. I am still comtemplating if I should buy a birthday gift considering she NEVER bought me one. I don't think I should cause it would be casted one side cause she has no time for any of her friends. Her man is her life now. The girl who said " A man doesn't define me!" has definitely gone back on her word. It crushes me that I am the reason this ALL happened. I live with the guilt whenever I think about it. If I hadn't done what I have done then who knows what would have happened. I probably would have still had her as bestie. Yes I still have my two besties Steph and Tony who have been awesome and we all are going through different situations which contains this word named hurt. Hurt is a such a word. It just defines the pain your soul and mind goes through every now again. A person can hurt for a day, a week, a month, a year. It comes it different forms, but they all suck. It sucks through. She is hurting cause the guy is being a moron and he is hurting cause he still misses his ex which he believes was his no. 1 girl. They both said to me that you should fuk it and leave well alone, but there is something that keeps me where I am. I wish I knew. It just suxx that I did this. Well she is also to blame, but I blame myself everyday. If I can say a few words it would be I am ever so sorry.. please forgive me.. i miss you way too much.. and probably just end up balling...