As everyone knows and has seen my boyfriend is white. He is Irish, hails from Ireland itself, and looks like the stereotypical Irish person - red/ginger hair, green eyes, and tons of freckles. I get teased by mom, lovingly, that I date a white guy. She always encouraged to date someone because I like them not because of my race. Nowadays dating out the race boundary is more accepted, but I still think it is taboo to some people. As everyone who knows me I am Black and
Hispanic. My mom hails from Guyana and my dad hails from
Puerto Rico. I have permanent tan complexion and I do have the common black nose and I have the nappy hair, but its permed. Whenever I am out with Rob on the subway going to the city I feel the stares
penetrating my skin. Of course the stares come from the black guys who are sporting the
doo-rag, latest fashion clothes, and sneakers, and their pants below their waist so you can see their boxers. I can tell that they are hating on my boyfriend because he is with me and he is white. To those black guys they believe that he is stealing the good black girls who
aren't ghetto from them. I remember the day I had a brunch at school in Brooklyn because I was in the
SGA for school last year. My boyfriend despises driving so we took the subway down to Bay Ridge. On our way back from
the brunch guys were just looking at me and then him, black guys
btw in the same description as before, and shaking their heads, or muttering damn, or muttering what they would do to me if they were with me. One guy congratulated my bf and said "You are lucky." He replied thanks and kept it moving.
What is even worse for me is when I tell my friends in my hood, who are black, that my boyfriend is white. My female friends tease me of course, but tell me as long as he treats you right you are good. My male friends however its a different story. They will always say: "Why are you dating a white boy for?" "White guys are so whack." "Why date him when you can be with me? Some nice chocolate." This is always followed by a laugh then them probably popping their collars or dusting their
shoulders off because their "swag." I tell them its what attractive for me so don't feel bad. Then of course they will ask "So what about me how do I look?" I'll them they look
aight and they get upset. I always have to tell them well you guys are like my family so I do not look at you in that aspect. They still get upset. Sometimes I feel I can never please guys in the black race. I think this is part of the reason why I ended dating
Hispanic or White men. What takes the cake is when my cousin who is the same age as me found out that my boyfriend is white. He said the
same thing my friends said. He even suggested me dating his best friends. I told him "Why would I do that? Those are your friends. If we break up then that is the end of your friendship too." He left me alone, but I feel like he is waiting for my boyfriend to slip up so he can say "I told you you should have dated a black guy."
One of my friends dates a black man. Her boyfriend is pretty cool, and I like him as cool peoples. Now this friend is of Irish/Italian descent, and he is of Bajan descent. Her boyfriend is well groomed, not ghetto, dresses nice, and is on the buff side. She was telling me whenever she goes out with him places the hoodrat/ghetto girls (the girls with the door knocker earrings, latest fashions, long nails, and horrible slang broken English) would stare not only her down, but stare him down as well. Those girls feel that they should date him because he is part of the 20% of refined black men and not part of the 80% ghetto men that treat black girls wrong.
20% refined black men, you ask? A study was done recently, where within the study, it was discussed why educated black women tend to date outside their race. As more black women are going onto earning college degrees and their masters in various fields they are looking for men who are on the same intellectual path as them. The men who they are surrounded by are white and asian men. Its rare to see a black or hispanic man on that intellectual path. Now I am not saying they don't show up in those intellectual at all. There are some, you just don't see as many minority males as you should be seeing.
So those black and
Hispanic men are in
the 20% of refined men in their race. The other 80% are in gangs, dropped out of college, ghetto, or in jail for a crime they have
committed. Women wants a man that can provide for themselves and their families. Seeing those type guys for some women, or most women, are a turn off. They don't want a man who is basically a bum. Now going back to the educated black women. They of course will be turned off by ghetto men. They will want someone who can keep up with him in conversation and to make a living not someone living off welfare and not doing anything else with
themselves. Also since these women are around the Asian and White men more they tend to dating and marrying them.
So you may ask now what is the hell is the point of this blog. My point is their is still a taboo of people dating outside their race. Yes it is accepted by most people nowadays, but they are still those believe that is such taboo. This holds true espeically in the Black race. They believe that Blacks shouldn't date outside their race, and thinks it is wrong for women and men to do so. Women espeically. Honestly women.. would you date a man who is on welfare and not trying to better himself, or a man who is educated like you are and can keep up with you. NOW I am not saying to look down on people who are on welfare. Some people need the help, but those men who are just taking the money and not trying to find a job or go to school not the type of men women are looking for. Some women are satisfied with these men, but not the majority.
What is your take on this topic?
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