Numb. Quiet. Gone.

I sit in Irish History class, and my teacher just sounds like a sound far in the distance. Now mind you I LOVE anything that has to do with Ireland. These past two months has felt like my eternal hell. My horomones have compacted my emotions so much. I tried the pill it made me ten times worse. I feel like I am going to loose my mind. Today I hardly talked to family or friends as I slinked my way into school. I have the constant thought that I should just forget everything, and quit while I am ahead. The events within the past few weeks have been way too much for me. School started, work piling up, break up with my boyfriend, my body adjusting to the pill. Way too much. I tried to explain he wont listen. That frustrates me. I am so lost, so confused, so numb. I felt like I have lost myself in all of this. My soul hurts. It pains me. The person I care for wants nothing to do with me. The work keeps piling. My horomones keep raging. Its like this war is going on withing myself and I cannot fight it. I want to go away. I want to go to him and cry my eyes out. I want to tell everyone how I feel without looking like I am a nut job. My friends don't look as me as one. I talk to the best friend daily. I just feel so lost, and now I lost my apetite. I have not eaten right in 2 weeks. I'm starting to loose my color. I look really thin. I was a bright spunky 20 year old and I felt within a few weeks I turned into a crying, lost young adult. I feel my body rebeling on me now. I feel like I am loosing this fight. I pray to God to help me. I pray to go God to help him understand what I am going through. I have lost all my faith in things now, and now I'm loosing hope.