What Really Grinds My Gears

This is why I am done with men until the day I day. I am done, done, done, done. I am pissed to the point my teeth are clenched that they hurt. How are you going to sit there and joke about how I have you emotionally and sexually when YOU picked YOUR ex over ME? Like really? You were all talking about how I made you happy and how beautiful and intelligent but yet you pick the bitch that cheated on you, the one who the family dislikes, and caused you so much issues? You made a joke and you clearly think I am going to be okay with it? Like wtf? As much you seem as the guy in my dreams there are so many wishes that want you back in my dreams and never escape them again. You have caused me such an emotional roller-coaster these past few weeks of the new year and I am clearly tired of you and you sweet bullshit ways. Like what the fuck? Why would you pick her over me? What is it? I am not as pretty as her, I am not as thick as her, I don't have a big ass or tits? I wanted to actually have a valentine this year because I haven't had one since I was about 16, but OH NO that dream is shot to fuckin hell because of you. I picked your ass over my bestie, and because I did I probably do not have a bestie anymore. Now he is mad at me because I showed him something his ex showed him. So that day I guess I will be doing school work. I hate you so much right and I hope you go to hell at least my hell so you know how I struggle with my damn life every damn day since 2009 rolled around. I am so sick of everything. Just everything. I regret picking you now cause you just made my life even more than a living hell than what it is already. So I just want to say THANK A FUCKING A LOT. I knew I shouldn't have had you entertain my thoughts, and that is what really grinds my gears.