Losing Grip

"Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone.." - Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne

This is how we felt when you deserted us. Your sis ( your sister from another mother) feels so abandoned and hurt. At a time when she needs you the most she is left to cry in her room wondering if you would even remembered her birthday. You known her for her whole life, from diapers, but yet you act like she never existed in your life. Another person who considered you like the little sister she never had wrote you a three page heartfelt letter, and you couldn't even respond. She de-frieneded you and sent you a message explaining herself. Yet you still couldn't answer her. I feel guilty because I have the only segway to get in contact with you. We share the fact of Chorus president. I am the current, and you were the past. The only other person who has a segway is the person who dated your bf last.. which was another close friend of yours. The only segway she has if its concerning your boyfriend. I know I sound so repetetive on this blog, but obviously its something that irks me. The lame excuse you gave me is "I was always inconsistent my whole life." That does not fly with me. I am not asking you to cater to my every need. I am not asking you for you to see me everyday. All I ask if we have some type of communication. Just let me know you are alive and healthy. Your boyfriend is just to blame because he should force you to see your friends. Keeping you to himself just shows how selfish he is. Yes I know this blog can get me in trouble with school and shit, but then again I am 20 years old and a junior in college. Stuff what is written on the internet which is not considered deformation of a person should not be questioned. Everyone has different views on this situation. I just know from my pov: Yes I forgave her, but I do not accept these behaviours. I really don't. You are almost 22 years old, and you still can't contact people? It seems like you contact people whenever you need them or something or when you are bored and have nothing else to do. Or like my friend says "seems like a personal problem." I have been also been warned not to place my opinions online because it can cause trouble. Last I checked the bill of rights allows me to have free speech. I just feel like I am going to get in trouble for writing this. If I do. Let me settle this in court because I will glady say what I gotta say. Throughout all of this I do slightly care for her. Sad to say. She probably doesn't even give two shits about me. She says she does, but I don't believe her. She made believe that I was crazy. That I belonged in Creedmore Hospital for the mentally sick. I told her this and she couldn't even say anything to that. Like what? "Open your eyes" like Avril sings and see what pain you have put people through. From not contacting people, from not answering people's letters, to not wishing people happy birthday, to telling the dean on what I did. I am sorry I care about YOUR education, and I am sorry I CARE about you. I need to be apathetic about you. That would make everything better.